DISCLOSURE: AS AN AMAZON ASSOCIATE I EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES.
THIS POST MAY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS, MEANING, AT NO ADDITIONAL COST TO YOU, I EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES. AFFILIATE LINKS ARE MARKED WITH #ad. "I" IN THIS CASE MEANS THE OWNER OF FILMDAFT.COM. PLEASE READ THE FULL DISCLOSURE FOR MORE INFO.
I recently got the opportunity to mess with an artificial intelligence (AI) writer.
So I decided to have it create some movie reviews of films, that I haven’t had the time to watch yet.
I fed the AI with the plot of each movie plus the name of the director, and let it go to town.
Well, I’m a bit confused, but the results are hilarious.
1. Black Widow (2021). Director: Cate Shortland
First, if you haven’t watched it either, here’s the official trailer:
… and here’s the review:
Wolf of Wall Street is an R-rated comedy that is equal parts serious and not-so-serious. It stars Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan Belfort, the real-life stockbroker who was the basis for the fictional character of the same name in the book and film The Wolf of Wall Street. The book and film were based on Belfort’s autobiography, but it’s unclear if any of the events in the book actually occurred or are even true.AI Movie Critic
I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this, because it’s pretty much impossible to review a movie like this without giving away major plot points.
So this is Black Widow? I must admit, it’s not what I had expected.
I’m pretty confident that the AI didn’t give away any major plot points though?
2. Tenet (2020). Director: Christopher Nolan
Here’s the trailer:
…and here’s the critical review:
This is a long movie but it’s absolutely worth the time you spend watching it. This movie will open your eyes and make you cheer for what happens to the main character in the end.
The movie begins with a young man, named Jordan (played by Margot Robbie) getting a college education in how to become wealthy in the stock market. She falls in love with him, he breaks her heart, she becomes a platinum blond, marries another guy and has three kids.AI Movie Critic
Christopher Nolan really has a way of messing with our minds through plot twists and turns, but I must admit, that I hadn’t seen this coming.
3. Godzilla vs. Kong (2021). Director: Adam Wingard
First, here’s the official trailer:
…and here’s the review:
This is one of those movies that will probably make you want to puke. It’s a low-rent “King Kong” ripoff with a special (read: sad) addition of stupidity.
I’m not sure what possessed me to watch this movie… other than the fact that it has an almost 100% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.com… and… a few people I respect thought it was quite good.
But, after watching it, all I can say is… It Was A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Movie!
The acting is bad. The writing is worse. The characters are two-dimensional stereotypes who are only there to serve as plot devices.Very Disappointed AI Movie Critic
Man, I was looking forward to seeing the epic battle between Gojira and Kong play out, but after reading this review, I’m not sure if the movie is worth my time?!
4. F9 a.k.a. Fast & Furious 9 (2021). Director: Justin Lin
And here’s the review:
I remember when this movie came out. It was the year after “Trailer Park” hit the big time. Remember how everyone was in love with Ashton Kutcher? Well, for a little while at least, it seemed like every comedian on late night television had a segment featuring “The Three Stooges.” (I guess they didn’t pay them enough back then.)
This movie came out right at the beginning of the era of mega-blockbusters. If you told people you hadn’t been socialized as a child…AI Movie Critic
5. Jungle Cruise (2021). Director: Jaume Collet-Serra
And the verdict is in…
This is one of the most uneven films I have ever seen. It starts out as a fascinating story of adventure… but soon descends into a ridiculous soap opera about a man who is obsessed with sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. It’s like “Scarface” set in the 1980s.AI Movie Critic
Now, THIS is a movie, I’m looking forward to watching!
I look forward to watching each of these movies sometime in the near future. Heck, I might even chip in with my own opinion in this corner of the Interweb. Who knows–I might agree with the AI!?
About the author:
Jan Sørup is a videographer and photographer from Denmark. He owns filmdaft.com and the Danish company Apertura, which produces video content for big companies in Denmark and Scandinavia. Jan has a background in music, has drawn webcomics, and is a former lecturer at the University of Copenhagen.